1/2

I'm hanging out with my friend Dana in Missouri.  Her, her hubby and me... and 8 children between the two of us.  She just delivered her 5th child.  She now has 5 boys!  Our children are buddies and we enjoy many a good conversations together.  But I don't think she would be offended with me saying my heart is not content.  In fact, it aches.  Something is missing.
Somewhere northeast of here a really cute guy holds my affections.  I miss him terribly.  He is my groom and I his bride.  I give up any misconceived feminist notions of independence and admit I am not the same without him.  I was one before we met over 10 years ago and now I am something else.  I am 1/2.
It doesn't make mathematical sense.  I am less than I was before and yet I am more.  I gave up much and yet I have, abundantly.  I willingly submit to him (well...) and I couldn't be more free.
What is it that makes me this crazy?  It is a husband who has vowed, by the grace of God, to love me as Christ loved the church.  He is my husband and the father of our children.  He protects us.  He keeps his children's eyes from danger and their ears from the hypnotic call of the world the flesh and the devil, and fills their ears with the music of the Word and their eyes he points upward.  He guards us with his meditation, prayer, study and knowledge through his own submission to the One he has vowed to imitate, Christ Jesus. He gives himself up as a sacrifice through his willingness to give anything for us and lives it out daily through his acts of service (cause there aint nothing more beautiful then a man with dish soap on his hands!).  He makes me want to be a better Christian, a better wife, a better mother.
He loves me and I love him.  And together we are one!  But right now he is far away and I'm feeling awfully half-ish today.