Old Yeller

I yell at my kids.  Not just once a month, or when they are about to run in the street, but all the time.  I'm not proud of this, I'm confessing the facts.  Sometimes it because I'm tired.  Sometimes it's because I'm distracted and don't want to deal with the situation.  But you know what?  Sometimes it's because my kids do stupid things.
That's right, I said it.  Sometimes my kids just do stupid, childish things because they're children.  Part of me raising them is correcting stupid things.  I don't need to coddle them or say things like, "Now sweetie, WE don't color on the walls," Because you know what?  I never color on my walls.  I spent too many days painting them and getting help from others to paint them as well.   Hard work and money went into those walls.  I don't say, "We don't color on the walls because that's not nice."  I say, "Don't color on my walls!"  And then I make them erase it.  One time Abby and Ally took crayons and colored both sides of their doors, the laundry door, their walls, and their closet.  They scrubbed walls for two hours and I took their crayons away for a few days.  I wasn't stifling their creativity I was purging the demons! ( I'm kidding, don't freak out.) When they said, "Mommy, our hands are tired."  I didn't say, "Well, you learned an important lesson."  I said, "That's because you spent so much time coloring on my walls. Keep scrubbing."
Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of times when I yell at them unjustly.  EVERYday, in fact.  There is a whole lot of realizing my own failures as a mother and a lot of grace needs to be poured out on this old yeller.
 -End of rant-

Every Stain Tells a Story

"You're busy!" The lady at the store says as she observes my four children in line at the check-out.
"Yeah," I say with a smile.  I've heard this a thousand times before.  In fact, I've heard this since I've had two kids.  And I am.  I'm busy.  I have been for a long time. But I have never felt it so much as I do now.

Do you know what scares me more than anything? An unexpected guest at around 1:00 pm.  They would see me open the door and immediately observe hair uncombed, smudged glasses, dirty clothes, house a mess, and kids still in their pajamas. There are truly not enough hours in the day to get it all done.

Today, after a long day in which the hubs had to leave the house at 4:45 am and did not return home until about 6:00 pm, I walked back into my room for the first time all day.  I looked in the mirror and was horrified by the state of my attire.  Here's a glimpse:

Totally disgusting.  This shirt is the result of not one, not two, but three girls with a cold.  It's a baby who spits up if she is not burped well.  It's a homeschooling "wouldn't it be fun to make your own clay" project, and oil splatter from cooking.  It's apparently a napkin too.  

I'm tired.  I'm tired of the baby waking up to nurse twice a night and I'm tired of two year old potty accidents.  But you know, I'll get up the next day and do it all over again.  And I'd do it over and over again.  Because each of these stains tells a story.  A beautiful, messy story about a mom and her kids and their daily disasters adventures of growing up and growing together.  

PS Olivia has her own story about today... 

or the last two days... ehhh, let's say today for saving face purposes. 

Allison the Great

Look at this girl.  Totally cute and adorable.  She has the sweetest little voice and much to her dismay, I kiss her all day long.  She's sweet, she's funny, and she's.....destructive.

I just had to go to the bathroom.  It was only going to be a minute.  But when I came out I started to piece together the crime scene.  Somehow she had managed to knock over the baby monitor, play with my china, take several of the canned food jars down in the kitchen, play with my ipod and take the case off, dump a game out, and flush a bar of soap down the toilet.  It's like something goes off in her head, "Mom left the room, must do as much damage as possible."

I know every two year old is messy and destructive but Ally is my most deliberate one.  She once put toothpaste all over her sister's face while she slept and when she woke up screaming, she ran away laughing.

The other day, I told Ally she was a big girl and big girl's don't poop in their diapers. That day, she woke up from a nap and had a mischievous look on her face.  "Do you want Mommy to hold you-" "No!" she immediately responded.  Uh oh.  I knew something was up. She probably pooped in her diaper and didn't want me to hold her.

"Did you poopy?" I asked.  No answer.  I lifted up her dress to check her diaper and didn't find any poop.  In fact, I didn't even find a diaper. "Where's your diaper, Ally?"  She didn't have the nerve to answer.  She just pointed to her room.  As I stepped into her room I felt something warm and squishy between my toes. It felt about 98.6 degrees so I knew it was fresh.  I didn't even have to look down to make sure, I knew. "Allllllly!" I yelled.  Immediately tears and loud wails came from my adorable mischief.  It was hard to be mad when she was following my instructions to "not poop in her diaper."

God made this one adorable on purpose.

Claustro-Phonophobia: Tips on Traveling with Children

It's summer time!  Time to lather on the sunscreen, hit the lakes and beaches, take walks... and plan vacations that involve long rides in the car with screaming children.  I don't think there is a word for this experience so I have made one up:

Claustro-Phonophobia- Fear of loud noises in small spaces.

I suffer from this.  There is nothing that can get my eye twitching like a screaming or whiney child in a car.  It grates on me and I slowly come unraveled.

I don't really consider myself an expert on anything.  Parenting is nothing like I expected and much of what I have learned has come by trial and error.  But I have traveled A LOT with children.  So much so I have been asked on more than one occasion if I was crazy.  In one long (but fun and eventful) summer we traveled 116 hours, 6,000 miles, and crossed 30 states in a 2 month period.  Oh, and we had a 4 year old, 3 year old, and 7 month old in the car.  We've made another across country trip with two of our kids ages 1 and 2 at the time.  We've made countless one day drives in the past seven years as well.

I have learned a thing or two in that time.   But the most important thing I have learned is road trips can be really fun with even the youngest of children (you just called me "crazy," didn't you).  Seriously, don't stop reading!  Here are a few of the tips I have learned to make traveling a fun and relatively whine/cry- free experience...

1.  Get them excited!  Talk about the trip with your kids (if they are old enough).  Do some plan-ahead research and find some things they will see on the way.  They will anticipate each site even if you are only driving by.

2. Buy a map.  I got this map and every time we crossed a new state the kids got to put a sticker on (we would wait until the next stop to put it on and the kids would take turns).  The best part is you can reuse it for each trip and the kids can keep track of all the states they've been in.

3.  This one is pricy but is possibly the greatest invention short of antibiotics in the past 100 years: The automobile DVD player.   You'll take a hit with the initial purchase but you will hopefully have it for years to come.

4. Baby entertainment.  For young babies who can't eat snacks, there's not a whole lot to do.  I usually reach back and hand them a toy if they can hold onto things.  I keep a small bag of little baby toys and hand them a new toy each time they drop them into the new area of your car you didn't know existed.  Baby mirrors that attach onto the back of the seat are great.  Things that make noise and have a remote control (that particular toy works great if they are rear facing because you control the remote and forward facing because they control the remote). Also, this and this. And this is great so your older baby or toddler can't lose their sippy cup or bottle.  If they can eat snacks, I prefer Mum Mums because they dissolve in their mouth and are not a choking hazard but they take awhile to eat. And it goes without saying, make the most of your stops so you are stopping as little as possible (i.e., change diaper, feed and let baby stretch during each stop.  And don't stop if baby is sleeping... no matter how bad you have to go to the bathroom).

5.  Kid/Toddler entertainment.  My 5 and almost 7 year old like to play video games.  My 2 1/2 year is entertained by each device for all of two minutes.  Fun Pockets are great because they stick to the scenery without being sticky.  Magnetic Books are great for the same reason.  Obviously no one can buy this kind of stuff for one trip. I have come upon most of this stuff at garage sales or have accumulated stuff over time. If you have two kids sitting next to each other this is a great way to store everything.  I put all their entertainment, including coloring books and crayons and their water in there.  aquadoodles are great entertainment without making the mess as well as Color Wonder books and markers.

6.  Comfort.  Uncomfortable kids make for cranky kids.  We bought our kids these a long time ago to ease the long amount of time in a car seat.

7.  Snacks, Snacks, Snacks.  Each day of travel I pack a brown paper bag full of snacks for the kids to eat at their own discretion.

8.  CD's.  Not just music cd's (Those are great too).  Try books on tape.  You can even check them out at the local library.  It gives them something to follow without starring at a screen.

9.  Presents!  Everybody loves to unwrap a gift.  I am going to wrap a present for each day of the trip and I will give it to them at the "half way" point each day.  That will give them something to look forward to as well as a boost of energy for the second half of the trip.  Again, I have picked up a lot of this stuff at garage sales.  Buy a toy for a quarter at a garage sale, wrap it up, and you buy an hour in the car.

10.  Pack separate suitcases for each day you are staying at a hotel.  There is nothing more frustrating and tiring then hauling all your luggage into a hotel you are only staying one night at.  Pack a separate, smaller suitcase with all the stuff you and your family will need for that night.  If you are staying at more than one hotel, pack a small luggage bag for each night and carry a small back pack with all the stuff that will need to be used at every hotel like toiletries, pajamas, bathing suit.  That way you don't have to worry about transferring stuff over to the next suitcase. So, you are walking into the hotel with a backpack and a small suitcase and maybe a few small items like a purse, computer, etc..

                               Most important, don't forget to take pictures and have fun.

                                          You'll always remember your vacations!

                     We will be traveling for three days (24 driving hours) this summer

                                              with a 6, 5, 2 yo and 4 month old.

Moving On

I think a common misconceived notion is that if I work hard enough or have the right amount of faith, no troubles will come my way.  God blesses the righteous and to hell with everyone else.  This is simply unbiblical and not true.  Ask Job.  If anything, God calls the Christian to a life of crosses and a certain amount of suffering.  This is not to say the Lord does not take absolute delight in blessing His children. 

Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!  -Matthew 7:9-11

I can attest to this verse.  In my short lived life, God has blessed me and my family beyond measure.  I cannot tell you how many times the car broke down or something came up and the Lord provided.  But we have endured a certain amount of suffering as well.  I won't get into the details but I think we can all agree every person does suffer.  But the reality is people do not suffer because they lack faith.  They suffer because we live in a fallen and sinful world.  And no amount of faith is going to change that.  Believer and unbeliever alike, we all suffer, we all are disappointed at times, we all experience heart break.   I have never lost a child.  I'd imagine that is one of the worst things that could happen to a person.  I've never been physically persecuted for my faith or had a crippling illness.  I don't know why I have been spared (thus far) in my life from certain calamities but I can tell you it is not because of me.  I do know I am not exempt from such tragedies.  These life altering events happen everyday.  If I am ever faced with such a crises I pray God would give me the grace to persevere.  The Christian cannot/ must not ever boast of their own works.  We are sinners and apart from God's grace we are nothing.  The difference for the Christian boils down to one phrase: hope in Christ.  Our hope is not in this fallen and decaying world.  The Rev. Lamb so rightly spoke when he said we must not look to the god of death for life.  We so desperately try to keep these fragile and feeble bodies of ours going because we believe this life is our hope.  That is why we turn to abortion, assisted suicide, stem cell research, and the like.  We look to death to ease our suffering.  But friends, take heart!  We were created by the God of life!  There is hope from the pain, the heart break, and the suffering.  God has given us His one and only Son to die on our behalf so that we could live!   Life!  That is what our God gives us.  That is who our God is.  That is why He tells us to eat and drink of His life giving body and blood while still on this earth.  That is why we can look past this earth and declare with the saints, This is not it!  There is so much more!  There is the kingdom of heaven that waits for all those who believe! Hope, my friends!  Don't ever give up this hope.

Find That Human

Let's play a game.  It's called, "Find That Human." The rules are simple.  Below are three drawings created by Ethan.  Your job is to find the human in each.  The first one is easy:

Poor guy probably didn't know what got him.  Okay, let's try it again with picture two:

Note to self:  Don't create a robot that is 1000 times bigger than you are.  They will always turn on you and then destroy you.  

Those pictures were too easy.  Let's try another.  This one's a toughy.  Here's a hint:  That's not a human in his mouth.  Keep looking...

 Yeah, that was it.  Your eyes did not deceive you.  I want a front row seat inside his brain while he draws.  This kid is not allowed to see a psychotherapist until he is out of the coloring stage.

Who Should Win the War?

Can war be justifiable?  Is an offensive war okay?  These are questions I am not going to answer in this blog.  I'm still trying to figure out a way to convince my son war is not won by capturing the flag (thanks Animaniacs).
 I have two kids who have asked for my opinion on who would win another type of war.  A war that has not started but has been planned out.  Quite frankly, I'm stumped.  Perhaps you can help.  Abby and Ethan spent all night drawing up their plans.  Note exhibit A:

 This is Ethan's battle plan:
 Black: Rifle Men
Brown: Tanks
Purple: Elite Troops
Yellow: Chain Guns
Red: Flame Throwers
Blue: Bomber Planes
Green: Canons

And Exhibit B:

This is Abby's Plan: 

Purple: Blueberries

Blue: Police Officers

Silver: Knights

Pink: Berries

Brown: Mud Pies

Yellow: Sun

Orange: Lava

Peach: Fireman

(She was going to have another color which she said was going to represent "daddy" but she must have forgotten)

How am I to choose who would win?  I mean, on the one hand, Ethan has a lot of fire power.  But he has positioned them randomly.  There is no order.  Abby's is very orderly but I'm not sure how she plans on obtaining a sun.  Actually, 8 suns.  Ethan says having suns is cheating.  I do, however, admire her Ode to the Heroes.  I mean, she has knights, firemen and policemen.  

At the end of the day I guess I would have to side with Abby.  To be honest, I think she had me at mud pies.   What do you think?

Dear Mrs. Future Ethan Packer,

I apologize ahead of time for my son's black and white personality, his unwillingness to try new things and his love of staying at home.  He was born that way, I promise.  Since he was a baby, he has had a hard time with change.  Let me give you some examples.

"Mom, do you know what my favorite day is?" Ethan asked after closing his last study book before the weekend.

"What?" I asked.

"My favorite day is when I don't have any math to do, and we don't go anywhere, and no one comes to see us."

As you know, this conversation describes Ethan so well. He loves to be at home.  He would rather be left alone to a chemistry set, toys or books than go out to dinner or take a walk.  One time we were reading a book together for school and I was asking him to compare and contrast a picture of a busy drive-in burger place, and a boy on a boat in the dark of the night.  "I like this picture," he said pointing to the boat, "because it's calm and quiet."    

He's my HOMEboy.  There was actually a time we were packing up to go to Chuck-E-Cheese and he whined about having to leave the house.  My girls were not like this.  I could barely leave the house without one of the girls begging to go with me.  It didn't matter if it was the bank or the store, they would want and welcome the change of scenery.  

Once, I bought Ethan a new shirt.  I don't remember the design but I remember I thought he would really like it.  After being in his drawer for a few weeks I asked him, "Why don't you wear the new shirt I got for you?"  

"I'm not used to it yet."

"But you like *whatever* design."

"Yeah, but I'm not used to it.  I can't wear it until I'm used to it."

So, I did the best I could.  I'm sure you love all the many wonderful things about him that I do: his love of science, his willingness to help out and of course, how much he loves his momma.  That's probably why you married him.  But as for the aforementioned things, I am sorry.  

Your Future Mother-In-Law,

Destiny 

P.S. I almost didn't use this picture because of the big, fat mess in the background.  But when you make me all of those beautiful grandbabies, you will relate.

6 Pack...er

Come on over to my house for a moment and share in the chaos of 6 Packers.  It's been a crazy week of adjusting to new baby but there is so much to be thankful for.

For starters, I have 4 healthy children.  I have been reminded this week that health is not something to be taken for granted.  I am also thankful for a loving husband who doesn't seem to show fear when he pulls up to the house with a wife standing near the front door starring out the window in "hand off" anticipation.

What has been perhaps the most unexpected and delightful surprise is the reaction of my older three children to their new sister.  Like turning the corner to see Ethan reading to Olivia.

 Everyday, they all can't wait to hold her.  Ally climbs into bed every morning and asks to see "my baby."  She smothers her with kisses and hugs.  I think Olivia may be slightly frightened by her.  She hasn't quite learned the art of gentleness.

Abby held Olivia for a 1/2 hour today on the couch.  She smiled at her, sang to her and kissed her.  Yesterday, Ethan burped her and she fell asleep on him.  

Olivia got her first bath today and the kids all gathered around to see her.  I weighed her on the scale afterward and the kids congratulated her on growing.

Yup, just me, hubby and four beautiful babies.  I'm loving my 6 Packer!